Well the time has finally come, where my four years at IUP have come to an end. This past Saturday I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts and a minor in Communications Media. I have had some wonderful times at IUP and have made friends that will last hopefully a lifetime. This summer Grace and I will move into our house on Oakland Ave, and I will have my job at Roundtop Etching as a Graphic Designer/Painter. Together we will hang out on our front porch and consume tasty beverages of the alcoholic nature. But that is still a month away. Saturday was a pretty hectic day for me. I got up early and my family and I left Johnstown for Indiana at 9 am. I attended the big commencement ceremony first, then everyone branched off into their departmental graduations. Both ceremonys were nice, but the departmental was far more intimate and memorable. As I was called up to the stage I shook hands with all the professors and gave Parker a hug. She was the first professor to get me truly excited about art, and thus was my first inspiration. After the ceremony was over I skipped the reception in favor of going back to Johnstown to have dinner at Surf-n-Turf Inn. Later on that night I went back to Indiana for the last party at Caylor's apartment. Brian Shepard was in town and alot of my friends were there. Around 2 AM i was starting to get sleepy, and not wanting to sleep at Greg's, I called Shea. He called back so I opted to stay with him, where I'd have no chance of getting molested or thrown up on. I found my way over there, and I think started to fall asleep on Nik, so Shea decided that it was time to go to bed. The last thing I remember is him snoring and me almost pushing him off the bed. I woke up at 7 AM feeling the full force of all the alcohol that I consumed that night. So sick! I wandered down stairs and found my Coors Light cup with the chewed up rim from last summer and drank 3 cups of water and layed on the couch for a while. Then I felt lonely so I wandered back upstairs and smacked Shea for snoring and went back to sleep where I think I had a dream about Corey and Blinky. I woke up around 11:30 to the all to familar feeling of him doing his best Koala bear impression, complete with breathing directly in my ear...grr. I still felt sick but it was comforting to be held. He and I ended up cuddling with the occasional tickle fight until after 2. I think we miss eachother, even tho I constantly bitch about what a complete and utter bastard he is and how much I wish he'd stop smoking and take some rogaine cos I have it in my mind that he's losing his hair, and shaggy hair is so great. I think everyone has that one person who they'll unconditionally love no matter what happens or who comes along. When I'd look at him when he was rubbing my back he just looked so content. This is a trap I fell into once before tho. We've been thru some bad and akward shit in the year that we've known eachother, but somehow we always find eachother wrapped in a ball under the blankets making fun of PJ and Bill. It's like a death sentence. I'm so hopeless and pathetic. Someone please save me. The line starts outside my house...now. Any takers? Shaggy hair a plus. So I can pull it when you're a bastard.

Ok, so last night was a complete and total waste of my time. The only good part was that this really drunk girl blew 50 bucks on a giant margarita from Cozumel. Did I mention it was 50 dollars?

And, I got to see Bill.
But Josh wanted me to come to Culpeppers with him. Fine and good. But all night I didn't see a point to my existence. The girl that bid on him during Gamma Sigs Bid-o-Honey was there and he was with her all night. She was the sweetest girl tho, and I ended up really liking her. Her friend was a bit of a different story. She was really upset over her boyfriend, which caused a huge alcohol effect. The drink till you cant feel feelings anymore. After totally wasting 50 dollars on a margarita the size of the round tables at the HUB, she ran out of Cozumel cos she wanted to drive home. Josh of course followed.

Well, whatever happened happened. I just didn't see why I was a part of it. I don't know these people, and I was hoping to have fun with Josh, but sometimes things just don't work out like you want them to. I think I'm just getting too old for this whole thing, where girls dress like sluts and weep everytime the boys don't call. I'm finished with it in a few weeks. Maybe the real world will hold something alittle more promising.

So, things have once again changed dramatically. I had my second job interview with Roundtop Etching on Thursday. I really hope I land the job. Really really bad.... Thursday Scott also came down to visit me. I haven't seen him since summer, which was the first time I seen him in 2 years after we decided to break up. Its cool to have him as a close friend still. The differences we had when we were together worked themselves out naturally and we're just enjoying eachother's rare company. We went to Boomys where we say Jay Sossong, who is home from Iraq. I was feeling a little left out cos Jay was sitting at a huge table full of people I didn't know and was talking to Scott about alot of things, understandably since they havent seen eachother in so long. I saw Josh from Delta Sigs and his roommate Eric so Josh and I started talking, which was cool cos I haven't seen him forever. We drunkenly rambled on about how relationships suck or something to that nature. Then, it was Wolfies time... Scott and I made it to Wolfies but we were too sober to dance (and I am extrememly shy) so we just chilled and made comments on how many dirty old townies were hanging out by Mrs. Pacman. 15 minutes later Josh and his crew walk in and then things started to get crazy... He and I hung out together, but I felt bad about leaving Scott, but he still has alot of friends in Indiana so he was amused...and I felt like such the pimpette. Ha, had to throw that in there... Friday night was really laid back. Started out chillin at Jays (different Jay) and we watched Turning Greek, or Becomming Greek or something. Basically, if you've ever seen PCU you know that its slightly worse than Old School. Well this movie ranks fifth in the college movie level, with Animal house first and Van Wilder second. I think I'm making sense... Josh texted me after he got off work around 12:30 and he came all the way from School Street to my place in the rain, then we walked all the way to 4th and Philly to get beer, in the rain, then all the way back to School Street. It was a 45 minute walk but I couldn't have been happier. We chilled back at the Delta Sig house and watched Family Guy with his awesome little and drank and just hung out together. It really sucked that he had to work at 10. It was just one of those mornings where its just gloomy enough to want to stay in bed all day. On a side note, I'm reallly pissed at Brody. BAD DOG! Brody jumped all over me and now I'm all scratched up from his gigantic dog claws. Well, since we didn't get to bed until 4:30, I think I'm gonna lay down for a bit. Today's workload is going to kick my ass.

Well, thankfully, yeah I said it, spring break is almost over.  I hate being at home for this long, I go crazy with boredom and all my friends are in Indiana having fun, or somewhere else, having fun.
Tomrrow is sectionals for my fraternity. I actually really wanted to go. Its my last year and Suz and her little are going, and my little, and some other people that I like from the frat. But I have to miss it, because I have a hair appointment scheduled tomrrow for 10:30 and everyone is leaving at 7 AM. I know that sounds like a silly reason, but its true! Well, I hope it is fun. Last year it was interesting to say the least.  Some chapters have such dorky kids in them! Especially at the one college we were at the one year, where Suz, Corey and I got trapped by a monk that wouldnt let us leave for like 2 hours.  He told us we were all very special. Well, he was right. Special.  When the right people go, we can make anything fun. I'm really disappointed that I can't go. But dissapointment seems to be the norm right about now.

Wednesday Brennan said that he missed me so we made plans for him to come visit on Saturday. Well, now it looks like he changed his mind.  Too busy with school and sore from working out and sports. And, I am not Sun Japan. Sun Japan is the love of his life. And I can not compete with food, for food as every man's love, next to beer, next to sleeping. Well I guess it doesn't matter.  I'm not that entertaining or worth it anyways.  No big deal. I guess... I'll be with friends on Sunday when mom takes me back to College. (sucks not having a car).

Tommy called from Germany today.  Trying to make plans to go visit him sometime in June. I think that is when Jen's bridal shower is, so I'll have to find out whats going on, and the blackout dates on my dad's tickets. So much work, but seeing him and being in Europe will defineitely be worth it. Maybe we can even see Ed! Why does everyone have to live in foreign countries. No fair. Well, Tom will be back in 3 years. I guess that's not too long....haha.

And, I have to find a job. I reactivated my file at Kelly Services again, so hopefully I'll have Pepsi to fall back on for a bit till I find something better. If I find something better!

I guess that all together I just hate uncertainty. I hate chasing something and having no results. That is something I've been telling Scott forever! It's my biggest fear. Pursuing something and getting nothing in return. Both in love and in life. What if putting my resume into places doesnt give me a job? What if chasing a degree doesn't amount to anything? And what if liking someone for so long turns into something horrible. Well, at least that is a path I've been down many times before. Misguided feelings always turn into something horrible-lost friendships, and that is the worst feeling ever. But about this job thing...yeah I'm alittle scared right now. I'm sure everyone that's graduated already understands. But you're so few and far between. Who else gets it?

Spring break.

2 words that, to any NORMAL red-blooded American, hick or yankee, means take off all your clothes, smear self tanner on every inch of your body that you've been trying to slim down for 6 months already, pack up your American Eagle clothes, plane ticket, and box of ribbed for her pleasure condoms, and hop on the next plane to Cancun.

And then, there is me.

I look out my window in Johnstown, discover 4 inches of snow on the ground. Then I look directly in front of me. A computer screen. Oh, wait, no, there are 2. Why have one, when I can be an extra computer science wanna be geek and have 2 monitors....rest assured this is my brother's PC and not my shiny little art-school friendly macintosh.  I only took computer science 101. I got an A.


So, for this spring break I will be doing animation! Something I always wanted to do, except not on a computer, like I wanted to do it with celluloid and acetate and paint. Too bad you can't get a job doing that anymore. So I made a flash presentation on how to do it.  Yeah its for a class....10 straight hours the other day. And I cant even bribe anyone to do the rest for me. I must be losing my touch or something....


Last Wednesday I busted out the playing cards and went to Shea's for some Euchre. Nik and I cleaned that place up. Then Bo and Nik's very stoned brother came back on round 2 and beat us by 2 points. Nik's brother had those Cadbury Eggs...you know, the ones that everyone hates except me, and I got really excited.  I tried to bite into it and hurt my teeth. Only I can injure myself on chocolate...


Well time for more work. I hope the rest of you, as in the whole country, is having fun in Cancun.

Forgive me Journal, for I have sinned. It has been over 2 months since my last confession. And my sins are saying F U to Shea over newyears for being a dick royale, quitting my job, and um...actually enjoying my last semister at IUP, sans drama!

So, obvoiusly I can't sleep. I keep trying. But is it worthless. Speaking of worthless...haha! I met a guy in January named Brennan. He is good.

The semister, schoolwise, really sucks. I only need 9 credits to graduate, but got forced into taking 12 to remain a full time student with financial aid and shit. So, to fulfill this requirement I took "History of Pain". It, like advanced communications graphics, is a class I frequent infrequently. I love graphics tho, you absolutely can not go wrong in that class. Advanced Graphic design on the other hand, is my hell. I've gone on way too many Flash MX adventures this semister. Many many thanks and ass kissings go out to Jay, for basically teaching me that program. I should pay him credit hours, not Andy.

So, it feels a little weird not comming home reeking of chicken and pizza 3 times a week. Also, feels a little weird to see my account going from $1000, to $800, to $600.....waaa! But I did land a new job! One day I'm sitting in here, freezing my ass off and Jay calls and tells me to come to the Digital Production Studio. I go into this little wee office and talk to people who make me very nervous, but I like now, and then I got hired. Maybe it's cos I can make coffee, I dunno.

Holy shit, have my weekends been WORTHLESS! haha Brennan thats for you. Been spending alot of time with him lately. He took me out to the Olive Garden on Valentine's Day, and all in all it's been pretty awesome so far. I'm not a gross mushy person so I'll just shut up now.

Lets see, what else. I was forced back into the fraternity since I went restrictive last semister and can't have too much of a good thing. It's just too much added responsibility that I really dont care to be burdened with at the moment. I'm trying to biuld my resume and graduate, I couldn't care less when the next meeting is, or the next fundraising event. I miss Tracey and Jeremy and Matt. I miss when it was 45 brothers, and I miss the days when I pledged. To me, it is just not the same. I do like our new pledges tho, alot. Speaking of, our president turns 21 Thursday night! Look out IUP! Here comes GREG!

and a newly shaved Greg he is.....no more long blonde hair *Sob*

Well I think I am finally sleepy! Goodnight everyone!

Well, it's midnight so technically it is Christmas morning. This however did not stop me from opening presents early. It was the first year ever that we opened stuff on christmas eve. Felt very weird, but at least I can sleep in tomrrow without being drug from my bed by parents that are way more excited than I am. Mom made ham and stuff and grama and pap came over. First christmas they wern't in florida in like 7 years. So the holiday feels alittle backward. Oh Oh here's what I got!
Well, I got this mac laptop. It has a new desktop on it like every 3 hours because I get bored looking at one and want a new one. I also got a load of software for it. I think I'm going to buy a mouse for it soon.
Then my dad bought me a webcam that's made for a laptop. It just clips onto the lid. Unfortunately, it is made for PCs only and is not in any way mac compatible. Not even the infamous "Plug and Play" could save this one...the installation drivers and stuff are all .exe files. Damn them. So, it is off to Staples later.
Got some new pants. 3 pairs actually, but mom gave me money for one pair and grama for another pair that I bought for the Pizzahut party, so only one pair was a surprise. Green. Yay!
And new shoes.
And some CD-RWs so I can continue on my quest for pirated software!
Jim bought me Family Guy vol 2 on DVD.
Oh and I got a brand new stereo. I didn't even ask for one, but it was a nice surprise. Its pretty big, I just gotta program it....I think I can since i successfully hooked up the speakers without making them explode.
And a really nice leather backpack that has a place to carry my laptop whenever I want to lug it around campus so I can type papers outside, using pirated software.
Got a few more little things, like some new makeup and some shower gel from bath and body works.
I find it amusing that each year Christmas keeps getting more and more expensive yet the piles get smaller and smaller. Like when we were little we got like a whole living room full of stuff. But My Little Ponys cost like 2 bucks. I think the coolest present I ever got was in 1989 when I got a Nintendo. Rest in Peace NES.
One fortunate bastard, Nikolaus, dear friend yet hated at the moment, is spending his Christmas making sand angels and playing in the water. Why can't my family ever go to a subtropical location for the holidays! I hope he's having a good time! Time to get some sleep. Merry Christmas everyone! See some of you for Newyears! Can't wait!

Last night Pizzahut had its christmas party at the Chestnut Ridge in Blairsville. Being at home and not able to see all the memos and reminders hanging all over work, I was not aware that you were able to bring a date, nor did I know where it was, or what time...basically I was clueless until I texted Shea demanding answers. So great, the party is in Blairsville. I was pretty pissed, I was hoping it would be somewhere closer to Indiana. So the day before Suz and I went shopping and I bought an outfit from Maurices and some shoes, and was happy because manager Bill said he had room in his car for one more. Then it hit me....ONE more. What if people were bringing dates? And that would mean I was the only one that didn't ask someone to come. So I freaked out and called Lindz, cos I knew she would have the most fun out of anyone I knew, except maybe Suz, who had to work that night. She couldnt go, then I remembered I haven't talked to Jay or seen him forever, so I called him up and asked him to come. He was tossing the idea back and forth cos he just drove back from South Carolina and had to get up for work at 5:30 the next morning. But I convinced him. It was really nice of him to come with me, that was a huge favor. He told me I could stay later if I wanted, so I asked Nate, who was underage, to drive me home, and had Liz as a backup, and Shea as an oh please God take me with you I'm desperate to get out of here backup.
Chestnut ridge is absolutely beautiful. Of course we started the night off right by going to the wrong entrance. Jay didn't know anyone, and since it was us the almighty chickenhut, blairsville, and southtowne, I didn't know anyone yet either, except for Lee, who was with his wife and Rosko who was with his girlfriend, and they were occupying a small table and engaging in what I'm sure would be proper conversation...no. So basically it was boring and uncomfortable until Amanda walked into the room wearing awesome pants and a tubetop, followed by Amy and her date and roomate Amanda and 2 other girls, Teresa and Jess. Amy's date Louis talked to Jay, so it was cool to have another dude around cos it's no fun having one guy deal with a bunch of women! I ran into Shea in the dining room and asked him if we were getting bonuses or raises and he was like ...yeah who do you work for....yes I forgot, for we were all probably holding our bonus money in our hands and getting drunk off of it....
Once I had 3 cranberry vodkas and 2 long islands in me it was time for dinner. Liz and her boyfriend joined all of us at the dinner table, where we had beef, salmon, greenbeans and rice. Alot of us were afraid of the salmon. Jay left shortly afterwards, and they opened the bar back up. Cash bar this time, but the beer was complimentary as was the wine. So I snuck a rollingrock to Nate as an "I'm sorry we couldnt hang out" gift, and had about 4 more Coors. Liz, her date, and Nate and I all hung out for a while. I'm glad I got to talk to Liz, cos we never really talked at work before and she's really awesome! I was also really happy to see Amy and Amanda L there. Shea brought Nik as his date which I thought was adorable, but led to "Is Shea gay?" questions, which I thought was hilarous, because I know both him and Nik pretty well...they aint gay. They have the right balance feminity to them that makes them well lets see...not assholes! Imagine! And they're both mine, unless you can pass the test. hehe.
Well, Nate and I went outside and I saw Shea and Nik standing over in the corner so as fate would have it, the 3 of us were standing with eachother, drinking. The only difference is that we looked nice.
Hmm what else happened. Pj made an ass of herself on the dance floor, but everyone was drunk and having a blast, so it didn;t matter. Justine and Jen tried to convince me to dance, but I ran to the saftey of the bar and hid behind another beer. The girls, Shea, Nik and I all headed downstairs to the other bar, which was beautiful and hung out before I rememberd I told Liz to wait for me. I was turning to leave before I heard "HUG!" Aww, Shea demands attention! New years with him, and whoever else shows up, which should be "everyone who's in town" is going to be a blast. But before that is Jason Seese's party!

Happy Holidays everybody, and may they be filled with much joy and alcohol.

-Jess

Ok. So there are a few things to do that are maybe NOT in Johnstown...Imagine that! For one, Scott may come Wednesday, but that is a big maybe. Next Monday is the Pizzahut Christmas Party, but its in Blairsville at Chestnut Ridge...really far away. And no one knows about anything yet...and personally I think it's a little ridiculous that it is way out there. And even if I did go, how would I get home...Bill, the general manager is the DD and where would I stay in Indiana...oh I wish Bo would get in touch with me. I sent him a voicemail but he's impossible to get in touch with! Then I sent him anotherone, expressing my anger in him being so hard to get in touch with. I kinda hinted around at Shea that I needed a ride, but he just said that they are looking into transportation....I guess he dosent want drive either!

So all I do here, is fight with my mom. I think she is very selfish...everytime I want to go anywhere the answer is either "no", "I don't know" , "You don't have insurance", or "Wait till your dad gets home". Its never "have fun, Jess" or anything like that. If Scott doesn't come Wednesday, Suz wants me to come visit, and then we're going to Shea's to play cards...she WILL learn! hehe! And newyears Shea and also Matt is planning on parties....and I KNOW the snow will be so heavy that there will be no way I can go. Maybe I can devise a plan to stay at Suz's a few days before newyears and pay for electric or something for a few days incase it snows really hard newyears. I am so miserable here. It's unreal. I gotta talk to that girl. I shoulda stayed with her. I know I should have. Oh well, no use in complaining about it I guess. I'm off. Later.

Dear Oscar from Sweden. I am sorry, I do not have any naked pictures to give you, but I would love to dance naked thru Europe. Just let me lose my love handles, for the American diet is atrocoius.

-America